Mother's Day Flowers

I know it's a couple days late, but here are some flowers I arranged for Mother's Day. Enjoy!

















































XO, Amy

Optical Grand Re-Opening

As some of you may know, my family is in the eye care business. I've been griping for years on how badly the optical needs a facelift and I finally had my opportunity when my parents were away on a two-week vacation. I decided to redo the optical and give them a surprise on their return.

I didn't do any big jobs, but just basic aesthetic improvements such as fresh paint on the wall and display cabinets, rearranging the layout to increase space and improve traffic flow, installing some DIY lighting and adding a few decorative touches. The result was much better than I expected! My only regret was not taking any "before" pictures....I only took one picture "during" to show the contrast between the original pink walls and new neutral paint colour. Here's the final unveiling. I was going for a boutique look...let me know what you think!

Pink walls? They were the first thing to go!

And Ta-Da...this is the final result after some fresh paint and redecorating!

Window Display - I glued every flower to the branches individually! The tulips are suppose to look like they are springing from the ground. Doesn't it look like Spring?

I took these pictures myself...thank God for iPhone apps!

Floral arrangement I made for the Grand Re-opening

Close up of the floral branches in the window...the frames are meant to look like they are a part of the branches!

Another picture of my floral arrangement

Hope you enjoyed these pictures!
XO, Amy

Simple Capsule

Simple Capsule by amy-chow featuring a vintage black dress

Mommy Style

Once upon a time, I was a slave to fashion and its latest trends. That changed after losing my body to childbearing and growing six sizes. Nothing makes you feel more frumpy than having a newborn baby attached to your breast every two hours around the clock. Not only is there very little "me time", the debate becomes, "should I shower or should I sleep?" I got through those first few months wearing pregnancy clothes and sweats.

As the weight slowly started coming off, I gained a little more confidence and the desire to actually put some effort into my looks. During this transition period, I was still unable to fit into my old clothes and made do by letting out whatever I could, not buttoning cardigans and blazers (because I couldn't!) and buying only a couple pairs of pants. I certainly intended on losing all my pregnancy weight and convinced myself that I should not waste money and shop during this transition period. In retrospect, I believe that I could have given my self-confidence a boost if I had indeed gone shopping for some stylish clothes that fit my body well at that weight. I'm not saying you should go and buy yourself a whole new wardrobe - unless, of course, you have the means to do so, then I would say GO FOR IT - but nothing looks more put together than well fitted clothes - regardless of your weight or body shape. Perhaps what contributes most to feeling and looking frumpy are ill fitting clothes.

As my son reached toddler-hood, I felt I had more of "myself" back, body wise and also time wise. I never quite lost the last eight pounds of baby weight, but at least I reached a place where I can fit back into a good portion of my old wardrobe and feel good about my body again. At this time, I realized that my lifestyle had changed immensely - I am no longer working, nor does my social life include clubs or lounges. I felt it was time to do an overhaul and re-evaluate my wardrobe and style.

I purchased an amazing book called "Nothing to Wear?" which gives you step by step instructions on how to edit your wardrobe and establish your personal style. First you take a quiz to establish your "fashion personality", then you start purging your closet - this is perhaps the hardest part. Everything that doesn't fit your fashion personality, or anything you haven't worn in  a while and don't think you ever will has to go. This strips your wardrobe down to the bare bones upon which you can build your new style.

Being a mom does not mean you need to let go of your style. My typical day consists of shuttling my son to play dates, Moms and Tots programs, and lunch or coffee dates with other moms. My closet no longer consists of power suits, business casual, and clubbing outfits. Instead, those items have been replaced by what I like to call "relaxed chic": outfits that are comfortable but stylish enough to make me feel good about myself. And then a small portion of my closet is dedicated to some "frosting"...outfits for those rare special occasions where I actually get to dress up!

Nobody does relaxed chic better than celebrity moms. Whether it's Angelina Jolie's minimalist style, Sarah Jessica Parker's casual chic, Jessica Alba's bohemian chic, Katie Holmes' refined style, or Victoria Beckham's high style, they all have something in common: they have continued to dress according to their individual style personalities. They have stayed true to themselves, carrying looks that are stylish and also kid-friendly.

[all images via POPSUGAR]

Fashion is cyclical. It changes and so should we. As we mature and go through the different stages in our life, our style should also mature and change with us. So go ahead and rediscover the fashionista in you - the Mommy Fashionista that is!

Lots of love,
Amy

Deceptive Liason

Have you ever been in love with someone you thought you knew...only to discover that the object of your affection turns out to be nothing more than a stranger?

I was reading Vogue's First Person feature, "An Old Flame Flames Out" where the author Leslie Camhi, encounters her first love several decades later. After a whirlwind romance and what she believed to be a second chance with the one she never forgot, she discovers that their life together was nothing more than a mirage - a web of lies - and she was but "one of many storylines" in his life.

Leslie Camhi's story struck a raw nerve in me. Eight years, a lovely marriage and a beautiful son later, this article triggered feelings in me that I thought I had long since buried, along with my feelings for a man who I thought at the time was my world. But he had deceived me so completely, that I was blindsided by his duality and betrayal.

My experience brings to mind an excerpt from the Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard's book The Seducer's Diary, where the protagonist Johannes carefully plans the seduction of a young woman Cordelia, only to break her heart after capturing it completely. Despite discovering his manipulations, Cordelia cannot let go of her feelings for Johannes and returns to him, which was all part of his scheme.

"Never will I call you 'my Johannes,' for I certainly realize you never have been that, and I am punished harshly enough for having once been gladdened in my soul by this thought, and yet I do call you 'mine': my seducer, my deceiver, my enemy, my murderer, the source of my unhappiness, the tomb of my joy, the abyss of my unhappiness. I call you 'mine' and call myself 'yours,' and as it once flattered your ear, proudly inclined to my adoration, so shall it now sound as a curse upon you, a curse for all eternity. Do not look forward to my planning to pursue you or to arm myself with a dagger in order to provoke your ridicule! Flee where you will, I am still yours; go to the ends of the earth, I am still yours. Love a hundred others, I am still yours - indeed, in the hour of death, I am yours. The very language I use against you must demonstrate to you that I am yours. You have had the audacity to deceive a person in such a way that you have become everything to me, so that I would rejoice solely in being your slave. Yours I am, yours, yours, your curse." -- letter from Cordelia to Johannes

It's ironic that this book was my Deceptor's favourite work by Kierkegaard. It's ironic that the scheme Cordelia fell victim to, was not so different from my own predicament. It's not that I wasn't aware of the nature of this book, and it never escaped me that despite the disquieting story this book tells, it was literally an obsession to him. Dog-eared, marked up and highlighted, I had thought it was but an academic venture of his. I had read and thoroughly enjoyed the book myself - as we all enjoy and ponder the tragedies of others - and took my Deceptor's fascination with it as nothing more than a healthy worship for a beloved philosopher, the "grandfather of existentialism". I now wonder how I could have been so oblivious to the fact that life had eerily mimicked fiction.

Did he truly love me? Or was I just one of his many conquests? Had I too, like the author of the Vogue article been but "one of many storylines" in my Deceptor's life? How did he manage to maintain these separate lives and storylines for a period of almost five years? Was he really a Master of Deception, or did I play into it as well? The fragile existence of our relationship was nothing more than a castle built in the sky and a carefully woven web of deceit...I had lived a lie for five years and felt utterly cheated of a "real" existence.

Deception is a multi-faceted monster. I recall once being told by him that the most convincing lie comes from half-truths and sticking as closely to the truth as possible (straight from the horse's mouth!!!). Perhaps he was such a great deceiver that he had even fooled himself into believing his own lies...something that I was only too familiar with. Throughout our relationship, I had niggling doubts of him that would surface in my mind. Certain things did not add up, and other "truths" seemed too far-fetched. Yet I deliberately turned a blind eye and made excuses for him. I lied to myself so well and believed my own lies so wholeheartedly that I truly was in shock to discover his duplicity.

At the time, I wondered if I had really "caught" him, or if he had merely tired of his own games and allowed himself to be "caught". I never really had a chance to go through the proper stages of processing and mourning after that relationship ended as life threw a few curve balls at me and took me in a whole new direction.

I'm not sure how I got through that time in my life. Perhaps it was the distractions of the daily grind, or perhaps (more likely) it was a special person I met shortly after who literally swept me off my feet and spirited me away from those dark times. Regardless of what it was, the memory today feels as fuzzy as that of a long forgotten dream.

Perhaps it was a blessing that I never had the chance to "mourn" the relationship because I never had the opportunity to develop any deep rooted hatred towards him. All that was left was forgiveness. I won't deny that he has shaped who I am today - teaching me things about myself and the world - and for that I am grateful.

Did the love for him just die? Or did it get diverted to the next person? I have been in love several times in my life, and each time, it was a completely different experience altogether, so I do not believe that the love merely gets transferred from person to person. I believe it gets packed away in our memory box as something from the past that once in a while, when the fancy strikes, you take out, dust off and contemplate for a while.

Despite swearing to myself that I would never forget him or our "out of this world love", the memories are fading now...I can't quite recall that manic feeling of passion that I had for him. Nor can I remember the hurt or betrayal. Only a few fond memories here and there that may dance in my mind as I contemplate the youth that I was at the time of that relationship.What this has taught me is that the world is constantly changing, in flux, and so are we. Nothing is permanent. I shake my head and smile at the girl I once was, fearful of a future without this man, unable to envision my life beyond him and I. Yet here I am, several "Loves" later. The future without him that I once could not imagine, upon me. And it's not so bad. In fact, I'm quite thoroughly enjoying myself! :)

Not a traditional Valentine's Day entry I know, but it's about affairs of the heart none the less...Happy Valentine's Day!

XO,
Amy

Sleepless...

I cannot sleep. My mind is buzzing with a myriad of thoughts, each screaming for my attention, dancing around like little ballerinas in my head. Warm milk, lavender aromatherapy, a relaxing bath...all to no avail...for tonight, Sleep is hiding from me and does not want to be found. My mind will not allow me to rest. Words pour out from my thoughts through my fingers, taking on a life of their own. I beg for relief from this incessant mind chatter. I yearn for silence.

How I long to be in that place between wakefulness and sleep, reverie and dream, where imagination runs rampant and dreams become reality. How I long to reach that peaceful space of a meditative trance. But alas, even my relaxation technique of meditation has evaded me.

Tonight, a culmination of thoughts, phrases, memories, song, theories and philosophies, questions and answers (questions with NO answers!) convolute to haunt my mind. Tonight, I will find no solace in writing, for it will only be a chaotic mess of fragmented thoughts. Yet I cannot stop. The words keep flowing, the ideas keep coming...marching like soldiers, one after the other....

Where will I find my release? When will Slumber find me?

Soul mate

Have you ever chanced upon what some might refer to as a "soul mate"? Perhaps your soul mate is a best friend, a family member, a lover or even a stranger...it doesn't matter the depth or length of time of your encounter with this person...the common thread is that this person made a lasting effect on you or your life.

I believe you can have many soul mates in your life time: a chance encounter with a stranger on a bus, who just so happens to strike up a conversation with you and somehow you gain insight into a problem that has been weighing upon your shoulders for some time...perhaps this is no chance encounter, but a soul connection, a fated meeting to help you along the way as you travel this path of life; a love relationship that has no future, but has transformed you in permanent ways that has allowed you to grow as a person; a constant companion who helps you learn and grow every day. I believe that as long as a person has had some profound influence or effect on your life, you can consider them a soul mate, regardless of if they currently still are and continue to be in your life, or are now just a lasting memory.

I once found a beautiful poem describing soul mate love that I feel the need to share:

Unending Love by Rabindranath Tagore

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times...
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of live, it's age old pain,
It's ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the life of a pole-star, piercing the darkness of time.
You become an image of what is remembered forever.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers,
Shared in the same shy sweetness of meeting,
The distressful tears of farewell,
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.



Hope you enjoyed this poem as much as I do!
~Amy

Food for thought...

"Smell is the sense of memory and desire..." ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

What is a "memory"? How accurate could one's memory be? Is it like a portrait - that frozen smile, the uncomfortable pose and unnatural atmosphere? Or is a memory more comparable to that of a candid shot - a snapshot in time where the photographer has captured a rare and special moment between his unaware subjects?

A memory is a million things, an object or a smell that conjures images in one's mind, a sensation of familiarity, something that brings a smile to one's face, a sparkle in their eye, a tear that falls, or a feeling of suffocation from reminded pain. Words written in a journal, lilting notes of a haunting melody, lyrics from a song that reverberates in the sub conscience, a keepsake....

Like the worn pages of a favourite book, a memory can fade with time: it becomes soft around the edges, blurred like that of an image from a dream. Or a memory can change with time, transformed - like spices added to leftovers from the night before - it can become sharper, resplendent, improved.

Memories...
Resplendent in flashes,
Picturesque tableaus in the mind.

Memories...
Frozen in time:
Capturing a moment
Vividly reminiscent
Of a portrait

Memories...
Like keepsakes
In a memory box
of the mind.

~ Amy